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:iconxanatos-leo: More from Xanatos-Leo


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Poems and Stories and Journals by ParasiticPariah

Literature by DeviantArtist14

Literature by Yuukon


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Submitted on
May 22, 2013
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take a deep breathe and count to ten .

what just happened ... will never happen again .


your hands start to tremble; the sink is cold .

you tell yourself you are strong; you are bold .


don't look in the mirror and stare .

this isn't right ... this isn't fair .


don't think about it too much, or you'll go insane .

tears and blood make their way down the drain .


what just happened ... to me ?

why do you feel so gross and dirty ?


feeling so worthless and wasted .

so unloved , abandoned, and tasted .


having given them everything, every part .

why did they turn, and break your heart ?


shattering every piece, leave you broken .

every sense of joy and pride ... forgotten .


you thought you could trust them .

instead they left their black and blue emblem .


so take a deep breath and count to ten .

what just happened ... will never happen again .


you're safe now; stay with me

you're safe now ... stay with me


suck up your tears, and act your age .

you're not some animal, in some cage .


hold it in, and tell no one .

just withstand it, the pain will pass at dawn .


and close your eyes and count to ten ...

what just happened, is about to happen again .
had to express it .

sometimes i feel invisible , unseen , and forgotten .
i see people with their friends and suddenly feel sick . i've never had that , and i know i'll never have that .



im sorry for not being on much . a lot has taken place over here , and i will be severely busy for a long time /:

i am actually publishing a graphic novel , and could be working with DC comics . it is still up in the air , but i have a lot of work ahead of me .

my deepest apologies for not responding , and thanks for being patient .
i will try to respond as soon as possible <3
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:iconbadxrain:
BadxRain Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg my friend gets bullied really bad by these two guys an the part of "you thought could trust them" just absolutely reminded me of her ;(
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
im so sorry she gets bullied .... can you help her at all ?
but tell her to stay strong , i know how bad bullying can be ... and it hurts . help her as much as you can
Reply
:iconbadxrain:
BadxRain Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I did help. One of the guys ended up stopping when my boyfriend stepped in. although on the second to last day of school the other one kept going an rally almost everyone into harassing her as they usually do during my math period but mostly it was him saying crap. Well it finally ended up where I couldn't take it anymore an I told him off for just about everything he has done.
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:iconnikole2029:
nikole2029 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
WoW You have true talents. *-*

It is a very beautiful poem. I can identify with this poem too. :sick: Keep it up

Luck กกกกก :squee: :clap:
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
awww you honestly think so ? thank you ...... that means a lot really <3 *hugs*
Reply
:iconanotherfallenangelx:
AnotherFallenAngelx Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love it ! Probably because I can relate to it a little haha.
Please keep writing ! It's perfect !
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
<sub.thank you ... i really really appreciate that ^^ <3
Reply
:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That really hits home, this is a very powerful piece. Please keep writing.
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i hope to , if the time is right ^^ ;
but thank you , it means a lot to me to read comments like that v_v im sorry you ever felt that way though , no one should ever have to go through it /:
Reply
:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh hey, I'm out of the darkest now, only way is up ^_^
It just reminded me to appreciate the things you've got ;)
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
well im glad then ^^
if you ever need me , you can talk to me , remember that ok ?
i always try to respond, and i try to give you my best ok ?
Reply
:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, I really appreciate that!
You're really caring.
Don't worry, I'm mostly writing past memories/thoughts, the only way is up <3
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that is very true, and i hope the best for you ^^ <3
i just do what i hope people would do for me, and that means being there ,
plus that's what friends do right ? ^^
Reply
:iconif-cloud-was-a-girl:
If-Cloud-Was-A-Girl Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Exactly :')
Thank you for being so welcoming. I'm new here, and I wasn't so sure about delving into dark pasts, but you've definitely convinced me this is such a caring community <3

And ditto do you too.
Any problems, I'm always here to chat to ;)
Reply
:icondeviantartist14:
DeviantArtist14 Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Student General Artist
great poem, so profound and emotional, i can relate, great work
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you , im sorry you can relate , but at least you know you're not alone , yes ?

i hope you don't need to feel that way ever again .... *hugs*
Reply
:icondeviantartist14:
DeviantArtist14 Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Student General Artist
you're welcome and yes i finally realized im not alone out here :) *hugs* same :huggle:
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
awww well, you're never alone ^^ i'll be here LOL xD
~ <3
Reply
:icondeviantartist14:
DeviantArtist14 Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Student General Artist
^^ your such a kind dude C:
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
aww you really think so ? ;A; you're so sweet !!
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:icondeviantartist14:
DeviantArtist14 Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Student General Artist
;A; am i? why thank you :love:
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yes ! you're amazing and adorable and perfect and sweeter then candy ^^ <3
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconiiibrokeyhu:
iiibrokeyhu Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This poem is very deep and true. You have true talents.
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
OMO ! i have no talents , just expressing how i felt . but thank you , it means a lot...really it does <3
Reply
:iconiiibrokeyhu:
iiibrokeyhu Featured By Owner May 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome

And you do have talent c:
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
omo , you are so sweet ^^ <33 *hugs* thank you ~
Reply
:iconiiibrokeyhu:
iiibrokeyhu Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome ♥

And it's only the truth c:
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:iconkjokjojessica:
kjokjojessica Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a true show of emotions and is too deep for words.
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you ~ i greatly appreciate that *hugs* <3
Reply
:iconzeilan:
zeilan Featured By Owner May 23, 2013
This was an incredible read. You could feel emotions radiating from the poem as you read it.
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you , im glad you could , because honestly i was just writing how i felt /:

im glad someone could see that *hugs*
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:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow, so moving. :)
If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only one out there.
This is a great piece of writing!
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you *hugs* it can be really hard sometimes, and very overwhelming ...
but i appreciate it when i read comments like that , and they make me feel like im not alone in all this ^^ so thank you ~
it means lot , really it does ...

and thank you for the comment ^^
Reply
:iconsparkknight2:
SparkKnight2 Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem!
Glad I can help :)
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yes , thank you SO MUCH ^^ <33333
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:iconzebragirl199:
zebragirl199 Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh my god this is like my favorite thing that I've ever read. You are soooo good!
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
awww thank you sweetheart *hugs* and im sorry for being severely inactive v_v i am the worst...feel free to hurt me v_v
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:iconzebragirl199:
zebragirl199 Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nooo you're not the worst <333 How are you?
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:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I AM ALIVE @u@
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:iconzebragirl199:
zebragirl199 Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yayyyyyyy!
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:iconprof-stein:
Prof-Stein Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is a beautiful and emotionally striking poem.
I have to admit that I feel forgotten--or simply hated--quite often.
I don't know if it has its roots in my psychological health, but one thing I know is that it is not a pleasant feeling.
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you for commenting, i read every comment and they all make me very happy, and i was very happy to read yours ...
and i am sorry you feel that way /: i know it too well v_v i feel left out and hated all the time . and i get depressed very easily because of it .
i hate the feeling and i wish no one ever has to feel it . im here for you if you ever need it ok ?
Reply
:iconprof-stein:
Prof-Stein Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
And I'll be here for you. Thanks. :)
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
awww you don't have to be , but i appreciate it ,
and no prob ^^ <3
Reply
:iconnightembersglowing:
nightembersglowing Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Dammit, you did that thing again when you wrote the best poetry I've ever read xD

I know I can't hug you in real life because of the Big Pond but :iconsupertighthugplz: I will never abandon you on the internet. I won't forget you how could I forget your poetry? and you're not invisible here! Dammit, no!

But as for actual tangible life...I'm sorry, I can only be here for you via the pixellated life and I am, always. But please, listen - you will have that. You will. I've been places before where it felt like I was never going to find anyone who liked me, that I was just gonna have to stick it out alone until I could leave high school and get out. It feels like it's never going to end, but it does. Seriously. You'll find that bunch of people who will take you in, in all your weird ways and odd habits and strange figures of speech, and they'll never let you go. I thought I'd never find them and then they kind of stumbled across me one PE class and during an awkward party with some Spanish exchange students and now we're like glue ^^ I know I only know you on the internet, but what I know of you is a funny, loyal, warm person with the best goddamn gifs on deviantart and a heart bigger than I've ever known.
Seriously.
I can't get my head around the fact that there aren't people who see this in you. Honestly. They don't know what they're missing ^^ because you're amazing, buddy. :iconslowhugplz: I'm always here for you, yeah? *hugsrealtight*

You might be working with DC???!?!?!! OH MY GOD, THAT'S HUGE! WOW! GAH, I CAN'T EVEN -
Jesus.
Wow.
Dat's huge.
Dat's fucking big.
You take all the time you need, because that is the chance of a lifetime. I wish you all the luck and magic that exists in puddly little Cheshire! ^-^
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
aww thank you sweetheart @u@
you made my whole week *cries*

i know it sucks knowing people online because you can't really see them if they live far away /: but yet it is nice because you DO know them...

and it's ok if you can only communicate with me on here for now , i look like crap right now xDD LOL .
mmm, and as for the poem .... it isn't exactly about having no one there , but the fact of being LEFT . at the time i wrote this i had met up with a 'best friend' of mine who transferred schools....and she acted as if i was just a stranger . not every relationship is going to make it . yes , finding those people who accept you for who you are is great and makes you feel awesome , and yes i have found people who accept me for all my weirdness xDD but it's the fact that they all leave me in the end . no one has ever stayed for more then roughly a year . and that's where i feel hurt . that's where the line :
"what just happened, is about to happen again . "
means it's only going to happen again /: but thank you , so much for being encouraging ^^ it means a lot to me , it really does ^^

awww thank you !! omo ! you know of DC comics? don't you live in England ?? O_o lol DC is american xDD i didn't know that ... weird Dx now i feel stupid v_v

mmm but yea i will feel really weird since i am a newby and they are all pros ....

owell....i will try ^^

and thank you SO MUCH for the support , i need it <3333

love you ~ <3
Reply
:iconnightembersglowing:
nightembersglowing Featured By Owner May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
*hugs* don't cry!! That's okay, don't worry! I don't say things I don't mean ^^@

I know T_T yes, if we didn't have the internet, we would never have met anyway, which would have been far worse >u<

Pfff, I'm sure you don't. Your selfies look just beautiful, honey ^^ someone on tumblr asked me the other day to post a selfie and I posted a picture of my horse because everyone else on tumblr is so beautiful and then there's me xD

Oh gosh, Leo, I'm sorry...I have ish~ been left by people but yours is worse and mine really hurt, so I don't even want to think about how much you must hurt...I'm so sorry *hugstight* I really wish you didn't have to experience that...but why do they leave? Why can they not see how amazing and caring and talented you are? U_U I will tell them, dammit!!
that's okay, I just don't want you to be hurt :iconslowhugplz: if I can do anything, I will <33

Yeah, I know of them a little ^^ even though I'm in England! I have some friends who are kind of into comics and stuff, so I know about DC from them xD Haha, don't feel stupid! We don't know about a lot of things in England (like why you guys often call it a faucet...it's a tap!!), so don't worry ^^@

they all started as newbies once ^^ nobody ever entered the world as a pro at anything
Yeah, fighting~!

That's okay, don't worry! You will be just fine, you're a fighter and you can do this <33

I love you too, honey ^^@ :iconsaranghaeplz:
Reply
:iconlonelynightrain:
lonelynightrain Featured By Owner May 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow....amazing, detailed, and so true for me.
I actually wrote a similar poem for my English exam in high school, but his...wow. Blows my mind.
Excellant work!
Reply
:iconxanatos-leo:
Xanatos-Leo Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
mmm im sorry you felt the same way /: no one should feel it ..
whoa~ you did ? was it any good ? mmm for an exam ? OMO ! i want your english exams !!! mine are all......language english Dx and i hate it Dx

but thank you *bows* i greatly appreciate it v_v
Reply
:iconlonelynightrain:
lonelynightrain Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It was good enough for me to pass. :)
Well, I'm through with college for now, so yeah...you can have it. XD
YOu are very welcome, Xanatos-Leo. ^_^
Reply
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